TO WISE SONS AND DAUGHTERS, 1.

A wise son brings joy to his father,

but a foolish son grief to his mother.

Proverbs 10.1

Listen, my son, to your father's instruction

and do not forsake your mother's teaching.

They will be a garland to grace your head

and a chain to adorn your neck.

Proverbs 1.8-9

Honor your father and mother.

Exodus 20.12

1. To honor our father and mother, we must rethink their relationship to us.

We will need to forgive offenses, abuses, failures, the hurt and anger, bitterness, and even hatred that we carry against them. List these painful memories and choose to forgive them.

Don't try to "just forget," or "let the pass be forgotten." Don't be afraid of digging up the past. With forgiveness, you can "let go of the past," not just bury it alive within you. When you forgive the past, you let it die and rid yourself of the torment that has lived within you.

Make your list.

Forgive what you can right now.

Painful issues may take a little more time, but begin now.

2. With forgiveness, we clear our bitter, angry way of remembring and seeing our parents.

With forgiveness a new way of thinking about our parents opens us to consider the good things they did do, be they ever so small and few. As we begin to see some good in our parents, we will become compassionate in regard to some of their failings and sad about others. They were victimized, too. And they failed to take responsibility, were selfish, and complacent and much more. But...,

We can now look on them with compassion and mercy for what they missed out on in their lives.

3. As we forgive and change our outlook on our parents, we will free to honor them will genuine appreciation. We will be able to speak civilly and sincerely of the new way we see them.

4. With forgiveness and honor, we will be able to bring reconciliation and joyful relationships within our families.